Children growing up between ‘Shoulds’ and ‘Wants’

Our children who are a part of this complex social environment that we built are fraught with emotional frustration. Constantly battling the conflict of ‘Shoulds’ and ‘Wants’.

Have we not unconsciously jailed them under the unwritten norms built on our stereotyped beliefs? Recent article in a Indian English daily read that the Municipal Corporation received around ten thousand applications from Post Graduates for the position of sweeper. Unemployment is all time high. Many Managers, Doctors and Engineers are on the roads, waiting to make a career.

I wonder are we also responsible for this state. Why only blame the government? Society is made up of individuals like us. Did we force our kids to take up what our friends’ kid is studying for? Worse still, are they not under the pressure of keeping up to our constant demands of excelling in what we chose for them.

You may say they lack experience and are yet immature. Can we answer the below questions with a Certain ‘NO’.

Don’t they have a right on their life?

How can we be sure of our choice?

Are our choices not colored by our personal lenses created by our own perceptions?

However, we pay a blind eye and keep imposing our ideas on them. We are also indirectly teaching our kids to conformity and never to question. Too bad, we are teaching our own kids to treat us the same way when we grow old. IMPOSE and NOT TO QUESTION.

Toxic social environments would not bring out their best.  Imagine how a child would grow up to be in such environment. Let us give a freehand and then guide them. They will put everything in what they believe and our support would only encourage them to reach their highest potential. Have we not heard the saying ‘Truth can be tolerated only if you discover it yourself’. If you want them to believe in your idea, have them identify with it. Lets not force it on them.

We have to guide them but it is incorrect to stop them from making a choice. In fact, we should be able to see what our kids are good at and motivate them to realize their dreams. A Sachin and A Messi would never be born if their parents failed to be their guides.

Children should be taught to make decisions keeping the ‘PRESENT’ in mind. This will allow them to create their reality and react to it better. Self-Awareness is what I am referring to. Quite a number research in this area. Be that be from Gestalt approach or to today’s Ellen Langers research on Mindfulness. All point us to BEING MINDFUL.

Is it not our responsibility in teaching our children to be receptive to stress. Also,Empowering them to make a choice between ‘Should’ and ‘Want’ will only better the relationship that we share with them.

Teach them to Meditate, to quieten the noise in their head. Harvard Research also second that. Please read their article ‘Mindfulness can Literally Change Your Brain. Link attached.

https://hbr.org/2015/01/mindfulness-can-literally-change-your-brain

Lets shoulder the responsibility in raising a moral child. I think this is the best contribution that we could do to build a Sane and a Safe Society for the kids tomorrow.

Advertisements

Published by

Sumi Nath

I strongly believe in the maxim 'I am what I think'. A Business degree holder taught to pose 'What's In It For Me?', is now seeking to understand the Real Self. My journey is what you will read here.

Thoughts? Share It.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s