Whenever our environment gives fewer data, we let our subjective self-interpret it and respond to clear the ambivalence.
Some of us, when met with ambiguity, may turn to anger or sadness. For example, when you meet with uncertainty, and say you believe it is hugely important to please everybody around then the amount of stress that you would undergo is fairly proportional.
Unfortunately, if social support is the only thing we are clinging to then we do not have enough choices to depend on. And the bizarre thing is that we avoid social contact and turn a loner when stressed, don’t we?
Besides, we feel stressed when we are compelled to saying “YES” when we really want to say “NO”. This is something that we come across more often than not. Maybe I feel this had played a huge role in not wanting to continue in an undivided family which was very popular in Indian subcontinent at one time. Thanks to stress, we now have the nuclear family, pun intended.
From experience, I know how hard it is to say NO to a friend or to a family member. It is next to impossible to saying NO to your superior or someone in authority. But we all know how the frustration gets build up and sometimes translates into indirect aggression. Then why can’t we say ‘No’? Because reciprocity and guilt weigh us down.
The need to comply and to stay part of social groups kick in high cortisol levels. This is huge because this leads to prolonged stress. Yet, learning to say NO when appropriate is important to our well-being. In the long run, people will respect you for that.
Decline gracefully. Be kind to yourself and you will radiate the same. If judging others is incorrect, judging self is equally wrong.
Image: the web