We met, we fell in love but our relationship suffered a setback due to my association with the senses. Then I broke up and then we made up and I broke up with the Self again. That’s all I do, and I feel guilty but it continues even today.
We are falling in and out of love as I am unable to renounce the joy that the senses provide. Though I do not want to commit adultery and quite blissful in the relationship I share with Self yet the sense longings follows me like my shadow.
These longings failed me every time besides catching up with it tired the body and drove me to the point of exhaustion. However, I restrain and practice self-control, the turbulent senses carry me forcibly into the world of desires. Here I am, struggling to find my way out and longing to be back in the safe arms of the Self and promising never to commit infelicity again.
Then I asked myself: why do I put up with this pain and strain when I have attained peace within? What, exactly, am I lacking that stops me from ending this toxic relationship with the five senses?
I told myself that I have to choose between pain and joy and that’s when I realised what I lacked. I lacked faith and loyalty as I let myself brood over the worldly imperfections. Also, I never restrain myself enough as I took advantage of the temporary fallout and played victim each time. But, alas, after aeons of infidelity, neither the senses experienced fulfilment nor I could establish an honest relationship with my Self. So I am back to square one again..
Guess this would be the confession of the Mind which failed to permanently establish in the Self.
Yatato hyapi kaunteya puruṣhasya vipaśhchitaḥ
Indriyāṇi pramāthīni haranti prasabhaṁ manaḥ//
Bhagavad Gita:2,60
The senses are so strong and turbulent, O son of Kunti, that they can forcibly carry away the mind even of a person endowed with discrimination and practising self-control.
Yadā sanharate chāyaṁ kūrmo ’ṅgānīva sarvaśhaḥ
Indriyāṇīndriyārthebhyas tasya prajñā pratiṣhṭhitā//
Bhagavad Gita:2,58
One who is able to withdraw the senses from their objects, just as a tortoise withdraws its limbs into its shell, is established in divine wisdom.
Image: the web
Men Mystiques n Mysticism 
The play between our humanness and the choice of divinity is what is called our life, I guess. Very well written!
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True 🙂
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Worldly desires always attracted first in the human life cycle, while eternal bliss or true human values comes behind, which only carry them forward to understand ultimate reality.
Desires form like a giant waves in the ocean of human mind and keeps rising and falling on its own with noise. It rises again and again and dissolved and tamed.
True life aspirations are hidden in the deep sea where there are only peace and tranquility rules.
Most of us fell sick and exhausted by not achieving their temporary desires fully and leave this world with strain and defeated.
One who ignores the worldly desire, driven to deep sea which is calm and not crowded, guides them to reach the heights of Glory, peace and fulfilled life.
rajan
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I have been undergoing a turmoil of emotions relating to the worldy desires v/s the real need of the self.I got a fair answer from your words.Thanks for sharing.But as Mr Rajan above said : ”Worldly desires always attracted first in the human life cycle, while eternal bliss or true human values comes behind, which only carry them forward to understand ultimate reality”; so I am again left wondering that do we really need to experience the worldy relationships to know the ultimate reality!??
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They are 2 sides of the same coin. Just as waves are very much part of the ocean. You have to experience one to appreciate the other.
Desires are like waves. We first experience them and then wonder what lies beneath. Although obsessing over every desire is futile.
Desires, for humans, are reasons to continue living and trust me, on this path, we are bestowed with a sharp discriminating intelligence. While you continue to stay an observer, allow that qualified intelligence guide you further. it has never let anyone down 🙂
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