Spirituality- Not Being A Dead Fish

My in laws and grandparents were home over the weekend. So, the day before they arrived, my mother said that she would help me to shop groceries so I could cook them lunch.

Accordingly, I shopped and made them a typical Tambrahm lunch. They stayed over the weekend and we had a good time.
My mother calls me the evening they left thinking they would be home. And, the conversation,…

Mom: Why did they leave so early? Did you not insist on them staying over?
Me: I did. But Thatha said he would be more comfortable there. We had a good time but it was both exciting and tiring at the same time. So, I am going to crash soon. I’ll talk to you later.
Mom: Wait. Did you make use of the things we bought?
Me: Yes, I did. They loved the food and Thatha said it was delicious. Full marks and happy.
Mom: Oh…is the happiness to do with the full marks? Sumi, I don’t have to remind you that your actions should never be to create an impression. (Expected and a standard question from my mother :-p )
Me: Yes Maa. That is what they said.

We spoke for some more time before I was reminded of the work waiting to be finished. I wished her a good night’s sleep and hung up the phone.

My Mother cautions me all the time because she thinks I over indulge in things more than what is required. Was not an easy child. The reason I documented the conversation is to point out that our spiritual outlooks are different. And, that is okay.

I do not think anyone can teach us how to manage our head. Because only we know what kind of demons we created. There is no moral code. And, we shouldn’t live like a dead fish in the name of spirituality. A dead one can experience nothing. Just being mindful of what is coming our way and how we take it is the first step towards it.

Also, do not override something that happens in your head. I think we should not tell people not to feel certain emotions or question them unnecessarily. It doesn’t matter; it is just another one among the other fleeting emotions or feelings. We complicate things by brooding over passing thoughts.

If something needs your attention, give it. Unnecessary ones will fall out with time and I do not think we need to be worried. Feel it and leave it. It is happening in the head.

Spirituality is about finding our way out of what we think we aren’t. All the things that we see, read or listen about spirituality should only be a guide and not a rule until it comes to our experience.

According to me, if you aren’t the roles you are playing then you should be something else. And, only you could find your way out. Be grateful and thankful to those who help you find yourself but tread your path.

Let me give you an example to illustrate this. I respect Bhagavad Gita and I look at it as my Teacher for guidance but I am not obsessed nor would I identify with it.

Identification is Our Mental Problem. From identification flow our likes and dislikes. We become rigid. All we have to do is to keep learning from our mistakes and experiences. Even if it means, learning to unlearn.

Tinnaga Vetagi Telusukontinayya Ninnegani Madinenna Jalanorula
After inner soul searching, I now see that YOU are in everything.

That is all we need to do..some soul searching 🙂

Credit: Written by Tyagaraja, in Carnatic composition by Mahesh Raghavan, love it..

Image: Internet

Published by

Sumi Nath

I strongly believe in the maxim 'I am what I think'. A Business degree holder taught to pose 'What's In It For Me?', is now seeking to understand the Real Self. My journey is what you will read here.

9 thoughts on “Spirituality- Not Being A Dead Fish”

  1. Sumi,
    I greatly agree with your thinking about agreeing to disagree about second-hand knowledge. But Isn’t all our knowledge is second hand except our_SELF. Then please answer me this. how do you manage expectations of other people from you. how do you manage your own expectations from them .To me, that’s all the conflict in THE WORLD. Please assume my intentions noble not a challenge. Wisdom is hard thing but can it be achieved through login only?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Nirmal,
      Whatever I am saying is just my understanding and not necessarily true. I really appreciate you asking. Only when we tread the path, we become conscious of our surroundings.
      Second hand knowledge will stay second hand until it comes to our experience. Anything that you perceive here is stemming from either your intellect or somebody else’s(both are limited but your search will only continue from what you understood).
      I am inspired by many, including my Mom but I believe if I am ‘THAT’ then I am in capacity to find myself and every other idea is just a guide.

      We may all be at different stages in our journey and the mind is very good at replicating things without understanding the real essence. Like we celebrate festivals because someone taught us do it. Do we know the reason behind each festival?

      Regarding expectations, I try to keep it low. I am positive that I can only change myself. If I do not like something in someone, I do tell them but before I do that I see why is that ‘something’ bothering me. I work on that.
      I try not to do anything that I don’t agree with. I politely explain and trust me, they might not understand right away, but they will. I remain calm, polite and give them time.
      And expectations only come when we want to be a part of some group. I keep that number low and it helps 🙂


      1. Aha. Thanx for your input sumi. My experience tells me when we tread our path our priorities change and group we already are in, also leave us or change . Your contemplations on expectations are true.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. DO you meditate Sumi, any form of it, concentration, contemplation or even staying with the self?. TO me Logic intellect can never take you to Mauna or silence or truth. It is useful for dealing in outside world, but when coming to inner journey it proves useless and runs in circles. I will greatly appreciate your thoughts on this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do meditate.. you are right about the intellect.. I don’t think anybody can experience Peace without experiencing silence. The mind should observe itself going from chaos into silence- that experience can only bring stability both inward & outward. Otherwise we can talk big but nothing good would come out of it ☺️


      1. 🙂 well said sumi . I think you need to host an independent website now . It brings more interaction with people. You words are worth sharing . May peace be upon you …

        Liked by 1 person

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