If only I had a good partner or different career or disciplined children or better upbringing, I’d be an extremely happy person!
Have you heard anyone say this?
I have. Myself, many times in the past before the realization that nothing here could keep me happy. That is when I realized that the problem doesn’t lie with others. Then who is to blame?
No prizes for guessing 😉 Take it in writing. However powerful you may be, you cannot always keep your surroundings to your liking.
Yes, there are times when others feel pleasant and you feel the vibe. But the truth is that we have become so dependent on somebody’s emotion that we forget that we are capable of feeling pleasant within & without any help from the outside.
Let me just give you an example here; the other day my husband and I went to meet someone. We were in good spirits and even before we had said our hellos, the person, out of the blue said something very nasty and direct. The person is someone elderly and we not only have to endure the taunt but also to respond with a smiling face. My husband and I wondered what went wrong, but thankfully we took a minute to respond.
We could have done one of the many things-
- Respond and not react but with an excruciating pain inside and not forgetting it for life
- React and vent that emotion and spoil the whole scene
- Keep wondering what might have made that person say that.
- Be conscious of the emotion arising at the moment and it’s worth compared to the pleasantness we were in.
I agree this is a dramatic example, but you know what I mean. There is no switch that we could press to call for pleasantness when we encounter such situations. We should have consciously endured that pleasant emotion to know its worth over the other things or people.
See, ultimately we have to live within these complex emotions. It is not just about choosing the ones which make us and the environment around us more pleasant. But also our understanding of our self and the kind of importance that we attach towards the pseudo self will determine our journey forward.
Bhagavad Gita shares its opinion on what keeps people in ‘Yogah'(inner journey). According to Gita, the prerequisite to be in Yogah is a controlled mind.
Asaṅyatātmanā yogo duṣhprāpa iti me matiḥ
Vaśhyātmanā tu yatatā śhakyo ’vāptum upāyataḥ// 6, 36
Yoga is inaccessible for the one with an uncontrolled mind. But, for one with a controlled mind who strives by the proper means, can attain perfection in Yoga. This is my opinion.