Wavering Mind & It’s Play

If only I had a good partner or different career or disciplined children or better upbringing, I’d be an extremely happy person!

Have you heard anyone say this?

I have. Myself, many times in the past before the realization that nothing here could keep me happy. That is when I realized that the problem doesn’t lie with others. Then who is to blame?

No prizes for guessing 😉 Take it in writing. However powerful you may be, you cannot always keep your surroundings to your liking.

Yes, there are times when others feel pleasant and you feel the vibe. But the truth is that we have become so dependent on somebody’s emotion that we forget that we are capable of feeling pleasant within & without any help from the outside.

Let me just give you an example here; the other day my husband and I went to meet someone. We were in good spirits and even before we had said our hellos, the person, out of the blue said something very nasty and direct. The person is someone elderly and we not only have to endure the taunt but also to respond with a smiling face. My husband and I wondered what went wrong, but thankfully we took a minute to respond.

We could have done one of the many things-

  • Respond and not react but with an excruciating pain inside and not forgetting it for life
  • React and vent that emotion and spoil the whole scene
  • Keep wondering what might have made that person say that.
  • Be conscious of the emotion arising at the moment and it’s worth compared to the pleasantness we were in.

I agree this is a dramatic example, but you know what I mean. There is no switch that we could press to call for pleasantness when we encounter such situations. We should have consciously endured that pleasant emotion to know its worth over the other things or people.

See, ultimately we have to live within these complex emotions. It is not just about choosing the ones which make us and the environment around us more pleasant. But also our understanding of our self and the kind of importance that we attach towards the pseudo self will determine our journey forward.

Bhagavad Gita shares its opinion on what keeps people in ‘Yogah'(inner journey). According to Gita, the prerequisite to be in Yogah is a controlled mind.

Asaṅyatātmanā yogo duṣhprāpa iti me matiḥ

Vaśhyātmanā tu yatatā śhakyo ’vāptum upāyataḥ// 6, 36

Yoga is inaccessible for the one with an uncontrolled mind. But, for one with a controlled mind who strives by the proper means, can attain perfection in Yoga. This is my opinion.

Egotism-Can’t Afford It

This morning, I reminded my husband(jokingly) how lucky was he to have me in his life and to that he nodded, with the sardonic smile leaving his face. The smile said it all 😉

Also recently, I met a friend who was all miserable- she felt all her hard work went unnoticed. She said there was no reciprocation and nobody loved her as much as she did. And this continued till I acknowledged what she went through and only then did we end the topic.

I believe we all might have felt this at one time or another that we are doing more than what is required. But if you look at it closely, we need others more than they need us, don’t we?

Besides, we need someone to certify our actions. I struggle with this myself and this is the most horrible thing that we can put ourselves through. A consenting nod, an acknowledging smile, appreciating our benefaction, a warm hug(& the list is endless). It is not just begging for somebody’s attention but the worse is looking for constant approval. This is a dangerous disease in itself. Although, consciously being aware of these is a step towards finding a cure for such pining.

I, truly think that we commit to something only if we need a certain kind of environment. Rather than complaining about getting a raw deal, think why are we doing it when we know the ROI is low or none. That is the question that we need to ask.

Why do we feel so incomplete? Can someone really complete us? What within us is seeking this? Is that us? Is there a cure?

Arjuna had a similar question and Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6, 35 prescribes the cure. And how we go about it? Maybe in the next blog post…

Chañchalaṁ hi manaḥ kṛiṣhṇa pramāthi balavad dṛiḍham

tasyāhaṁ nigrahaṁ manye vāyor iva su-duṣhkaram// 34

The mind is very restless, turbulent, strong and obstinate, O Krishna. It appears to me that it is more difficult to control than the wind.

śhrī bhagavān uvācha

Asanśhayaṁ mahā-bāho mano durnigrahaṁ chalam

abhyāsena tu kaunteya vairāgyeṇa cha gṛihyate// 35

Lord Krishna said:

O mighty-armed son of Kunti, what you say is correct; the mind is indeed very difficult to restrain. But by practice and detachment, it can be controlled.

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