A Yummy Vellappam To A Seeker

Made Vellappam and kadala curry for breakfast. To all the non-Keralites, Vellappam is a yummy coconutty breakfast dish which is accompanied by another coconut ground curry. Yeah, you are right! our love for coconut knows no bound.

Vellappam is a simple dish if you have the right ingredients ground to a right consistency and a well-seasoned iron skillet. If you are anything like me then the coconut in the batter still makes its appearance in chunks and the skillet is not greased enough. So the appams were adamant to get off the skillet.

Once I fished those chunks of coconut from the batter, fixed my skillet and Viola! Delicious perfect looking Appams were ready to be devoured.

Along with these appams, something else was cooking in my mind. The memories of the Appam.


  • I, as a kid eating away 10 appams at a time. Didn’t know then that it took time&skill to make these.
  • Sometimes stealing from my brother’s plate.
  • Adding loads of sugar into the batter when my mom wasn’t looking and Dad complaining of sweet appams.
  • Wondering how Mom managed to have 2 iron appam skillets and feed 3 hungry stomachs at the same time. Here struggling with one, my husband who really don’t have an appetite that I can boast of.
  • Remembering that day when I tried making an appam when mom wasn’t around and having burnt the palm of my hand. Oh, the pain is still fresh in the head.

With the remembrance of pain, came flooding all the memories related to it. Now its HastagPain and not Appam anymore.

And this is how our memory works. We all have an experience of this- thinking about a thing makes us oscillate from past to present and somewhere in between we switch from the thing that started this journey to something else.

For me, it was a switch of memories from the appam to pain. There is nothing to worry about because this is how it just works. Although if you are a seeker, you should know the pattern building and smile away from it. A seeker neither strengthens a memory nor weakens it but he just uses it whenever necessary.

But there is always something that the surrounding is trying to teach us to better ourselves in the process of knowing who we are. Vellappam also has something to teach, only if we are ready to listen.

So, here is what the Appam has to say: no shortcuts; put the work; patience- put the heat on med; the rice, coconut should come together with none trying to steal the limelight for a perfect appam. Give it time- the batter needs to be proofed and perfected.

Hahaha, it was fun to write it down. Let’s see how much of these learnings is going to mould me to a better me. Only time can tell 🙂

Image: Internet

Do We Get Jealous?

Yes.  We all do, right?

The next question invariably would be if it is right to be jealous. Who taught us to think like this?

I mean, in terms of right and wrong? Everything needs to be either right or wrong.

What if, somebody says it is wrong? Would we stop feeling it? Or worse, would we deny it? What would we do then?

We all should have a sense of which emotion to entertain but it is unhealthy to think one to be good and the other to be bad. At times even jealousy had helped whip my lazy bum to get up and do something than to remain in self-loathing. So how is it bad? It is how we see it?

When I keyed in the title of this post on the internet, the first thing that appeared in the results was this:

“Certainly each of us has felt an uncomfortable jealous twinge at some point in a relationship. We feel jealous in such moments because of our sense that a cherished connection we have with another person is threatened, and our fear that a loved one may find someone else to replace us.”

This is not a random post but I am writing this because I felt a twinge of envy and this is not the first time I have felt it.

And with whatever experience I have of feeling “It”, I can assure you that it is never because of the other person. But because of the feeling of personal inadequacy. Insecurity, fear is all a byproduct but the root is the feeling of not having arrived, not fully.

It is strange that we have no idea of who we really are, as the idea of what we think we are keep changing. And yet we keep comparing that false idea of us to every random thing/person and invite undesirable emotions and wonder where they came from.

Nothing enters our mind without our invitation. It’s just that we weren’t paying attention to how and who that damn invite went to. And maybe that is what is worthy of our time- in knowing the invitees and more importantly to know that never changing inviter.

Never changing Inviter because the Ever-changing one will never arrive. Nothing can make that latter one happy. So try to know the former one as everything they say has sprung from him. And the least of our time should be spent on labelling emotions “Good” or “Bad”. We don’t have to judge them.

Image: Internet