On and Off Relationship(Cont’d…)

This post is a continuation of the previous one.

Often when the mind blabbers, it is lost in thoughts about the past or the future. Whereas when the mind is calm, we would be more “aware” of the current experience, isn’t it? The awareness I am referring to- is not the awareness of the physical body or the train of thoughts but the inner being.

In meditation, we try to investigate and be intently aware of that silent and formless inner being. If you meditate, you might have come to experience a thoughtless state. Even for a second, when the mind empties, you witness the space/gap, pure awareness. You cannot explain that state in words but you were very much witnessing that thoughtless state. That awareness is the real you.

Even when the Mind thought it was distanced from the Self, the substratum supporting these thoughts were none other than the Self. Though the conditioned mind loves to believe that it is a different entity in itself, it is part of a unified whole. Whatever we see, feel, hear, smell or think are nothing but the interactions of the elements of the whole. Just as the words and the blank background simultaneously and interdependently make this blog post. Likewise, the tragic story is nothing but the thoughts transpiring in the self and hence it was never detached.

Then, why do we miss it? When we look at a thing, our attention goes to its name and the form, then although the substratum is supporting, it goes unnoticed. For example, while you are reading this post, you read the content but do not pay attention to the blank background which made this post a reality. These words are intertwined in this space so intimately and inseparably that it gets difficult to discern with our senses. It is everywhere, we are practically living in it.

“Why do I need to be aware of this awareness?” You may ask.
Well, as the saying goes, ‘you can exist here just as a piece of creation or you can exist here as the very Creator himself’- you make the choice. But again, this is just self-knowledge, knowledge in itself cannot guarantee a life free of dualism. However, it will motivate you to stay present in the moment and investigate more in knowing and experiencing that Immutable ‘I’.

Avyaktādīni bhūtāni vyakta-madhyāni bhārata
Avyakta-nidhanānyeva tatra kā paridevanā//
Bhagavad Gita:2,28

O scion of Bharat, all created beings are unmanifest before birth, manifest in life, and again unmanifest on death.

Image: the web

Knowing My Self

Someone who read my posts asked me a question, thought it would be interesting to blog it. I was asked if I had ever experienced a marred self-image and if meditation helped me recover?

So what is self-image? It is simply how I see my self.
Actually, we all have a clear sense of self, a sense of ‘I’ but when we are asked to pinpoint and describe ‘I’ then it gets difficult. Many times we do not know how to heal our selves as we are unsure what to work on. Think of it, when asked to better our selves, we work on our career or body image or relationships thinking this is where our self lies. In reality, they belong to us but can they be us?

Many ancient Hindu philosophers and scriptures claim that we are living a life of mistaken identity, a pseudo self which is transient and impermanent.
At times, Body = I Mind = I
They state the ‘I’ present during the dream, waking and deep sleep states is called ‘Atman’ which is distinct from the mind and body. And, until the above identifications with the inner & outer body stop, we cannot be at peace. So, their advice is to know our real self and avoid any emotional scars which can damage our self-image.

I had my own encounters with emotions, felt helpless, the more I talked about it to others, those impressions seemed to get stronger. If I wasn’t seeking help outside then the thoughts that I wished to avoid kept coming back with vengeance. I felt my inside was that of a battlefield and I turned hostile.

That is when I started paying attention to my thoughts, till then I barely knew what crossed my mind.  My mind was troubled by its own thoughts just as the silkworm bound by its own thread. I started observing my thoughts, the more my mind entertained those negative thoughts the more they surfaced. When sublimated, they took another form, but still existed.

Say someone knocks at your door and you do not respond to it then what happens? Whoever it is, have to go back after trying to get your attention, isn’t it? If we do not give the thought a thought, it has to go back. But it will return and knock again many a time, simply stop giving it any more power. Eventually, it will die down. Trust me, any such experiences in life will only leave you empowered with a better understanding of the mind.

Meditation may not be possible for someone with a low esteem. We need to fix that first. Learn to forgive you. To err is human, so learn from the experience and move on. Try giving; start taking responsibility your emotional needs and that will breed confidence.

Contemplating on any object is meditation but if you wish to understand and meditate upon the SELF then you have to approach a teacher. Spiritual books can gain a lifetime of knowledge but you may still miss the deeper meaning. He/she will help you put the principles into practice. For example, ‘Live in the present moment’, isn’t as simple as it may sound and nothing will change overnight. Be patient and practice until it gets hard-wired.

Though you are already That TRUTH/God(whatever you wish to call), ignorance will stop you from being that.  So, you should consciously trash your old knowledge and instill new ones and allow them to seep in. This sure is an investment of your time and energy but you deserve to know who you really are 🙂