Sharing My Experience

I get asked a lot

  • How my In-laws and relatives react to my unconventional beliefs with religion, God etc?
  • Why am I pursuing this at this age?
  • Does it affect my marriage?
  • Will God be disappointed and would he be mad?

I am sharing this because I think it’s something everybody gets asked and we deal with it in our own way but we seldom share our experience. Since I have a platform and I think these are relevant, so the post.

First, it is not unconventional but many think so! In my experience, it is better not to waste the time and energy to get people to agree with you.

Our purpose first is to understand who we are and not to educate others. Half-baked knowledge is not only dangerous but also can make us arrogant and more egocentric. And that is not what we want ūüôā

However, it is important that your close-knit family knows what you are seeking. For example: Being a woman, there would be expectations that you imbibe the culture of the family you married into. Do that. Learn their ways but practice what you believe.

I am very lucky to have an understanding family but even otherwise don’t expect them to¬†felicitate/motivate/understand/accept your ways. It is normal. But if you believe in something and you keep walking then slowly everybody would understand.

There will be confusion initially. If I want to change a habit, I have to cut that from the root. I cannot keep it and travel in both the boats. So sometimes others would be disappointed when they see you acting differently. Give them time and most importantly respect their views even if you aren’t adopting them.

Age: Guess, there is no better age to understand your self. The sooner the better. Again, we don’t have to say in so many words. Sometimes silence and a smile would do the job.

Spirituality and Marriage: It only gets better. You would be more inclusive, supportive, emotionally stable, would be willing to give that very needed space, less impulsive, neither a doormat nor a control-freak-you will strike the chord just right ūüôā

Disappointing God: Being spiritual does not necessarily mean understanding God. For me, it is about knowing My self first. If I do not understand my self; how the heck would I understand anybody or God? No God would be unhappy. When you start off initially, questioning norms might scare you and people around might add to it.

But I kept telling my self – the longest journey that I would ever make is with my own self. And it is very important to know it even more than God himself.

I started on this because I couldn’t understand my self- what am I?

  • Most of the times, I am an introvert, sometimes I am not.
  • My likes and dislikes change.
  • My body and mind changes with time and I am chasing something more reliable.

So, don’t be scared when people question your ways. Don’t go about explaining, let your actions speak.

Initially, your Tamasic mind would look for reasons not to change and the excuses at least should not be people’s approval/age/marital status or God. Stop evaluating and keep moving.

Image: Internet.. loved it

 

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Learning Knows No Age

I saw a lady trying to cheer up a kid from the apartment’s balcony. The kid was imitating whatever she was doing. After a while, the lady seemed tired but the kid happily continued mimicking. As I watched them, I thought what a beautiful display of mirror neurons¬†at work.¬†A primitive thing which stayed regardless of how much we progressed, both in age and science.

We see someone in shape, there is an immediate urge to get in shape though continuing might be a challenge. If the thought of cooking itself is boring then watch a YouTuber cooking for her family and instinctively you are motivated. How else can you explain 1 million subscribers and a million likes on such videos?

Mirror Neurons.jpg

When our favourite actors smoke on screen, we reach out for our packs.

One day I decided to watch all Kenny Sebastian’s stand-up comedy on YouTube and after few hours my husband arrived from work. After five minutes or so into our conversation, I noticed my husband’s weird expression or rather a confused one. I didn’t have to ask him the reason, I knew then that I was acting¬†like Kenny. After watching more than 10 shows of him, my mind has literally adopted his ways and was turning Kenny. My husband was so confused else he would have captured my act in a video and I could have shared it with you ūüėČ

That is the power of the mind and the power of mediaūü§Ď¬†They say we learn pretty much everything in the first five years of our life, but we continue to learn through our experiences. And that is why Organisations spend millions of dollars in training.

Bhagavad Gita also states the same- We have a tendency to follow and imitate the people we like. Nothing stands in our way other than the proper resolve to become that. Even the sinners when in the right company, they can learn their true nature and follow the path of a Guru(an enlightened being).  Just like Ratnakarah who, with the help of sage Narada, turned Valmiki. There is no age, the strong resolve is the only necessary ingredient to achieve success.

Api chet su-durńĀchńĀro bhajate mńĀm ananya-bhńĀk¬†SńĀdhur eva sa mantavyaŠł• samyag vyavasito hi saŠł•//
KŠĻ£hipraŠĻĀ bhavati dharmńĀtmńĀ ŇõhaŇõhvach-chhńĀntiŠĻĀ nigachchhati¬†Kaunteya pratijńĀnńęhi na me bhaktaŠł• praŠĻáaŇõhyati//
Bhagavad Gita Chapter 9 Shl 30, 31

Even if the vilest sinners worship Me with exclusive devotion, they are to be considered righteous, for they have made the proper resolve. Quickly they become virtuous and attain lasting peace. O son of Kunti, declare it boldly that no devotee of mine is ever lost

Yadi hyahaŠĻĀ na varteyaŠĻĀ jńĀtu karmaŠĻáyatandritaŠł•
Mama vartmńĀnuvartante manuŠĻ£hyńĀŠł• pńĀrtha sarvaŇõhaŠł•
Bhagavad Gita Chapter 3 Shl 23

For if I did not carefully perform the prescribed duties, O Parth, all men would follow my path in all respects.

 

 

Act To Express, Not To Impress

We have an inexhaustible appetite for acceptance and approval and therefore every action of ours is directed towards that goal. We try so hard and yet the goal never seems to arrive.

Anytime I do that, I pity myself. We suffocate ourselves in the process thinking once accepted people will stop judging us. Unfortunately, people will remember what they like to remember, we can influence it but cannot control it. There is no end, we have to keep acting to impress people all the time. Is it even worth it?

Let’s introspect.

  • Why do we expend so much of our energy seeking recognition?
  • What happens when we are recognised?
  • Who is seeking recognition?
  • In the end, who feels better?

Now, in reality, are we trying to impress others or in the process trying to impress our Self? You feel happier when you make an impression. So, ultimately, every action that YOU make is to make YOU happy.

So, stop acting and start expressing. And, let that be a kind expression because what goes around does come around ūüôā

Image: Internet

 

 

Spiritual Stagnation & An Award

First, let me thank the beautiful Shivangi from Multitude Of My Thoughts for the Versatile Blogger award. Her posts depict her beautiful mind.

I am always excited and happy to meet people who have the guts to fight their own demons. It is not easy when you get down to understanding and channelling your mind because it will only serve the One who is worthy to be its master. I have great respect for those who dare to tread this path and blogging has allowed me to meet such fantastic people.

She is one among them. Trying to get a hold and looking inward for answers. You should visit her blog to see how a 20-year-old is striving to achieve a balance in life. Link below

https://multitudeofmythoughts.wordpress.com

While my posts always reflect what I am working on however that doesn’t mean that I always get the things right. I commit blunders on the way. Although, my mind is happily married to me but like any good marriage it took time and work. So, I thought sharing good times alone may not be right ūüėČ

When we experience a ‘state’ that we are unable to maintain after a while, it gets frustrating. There would be an invisible battle between faith and patience and while that happens that state reappears yet wouldn’t stay. It keeps enticing us until we unbecome and attain spiritual maturity.

I am sharing what I learnt during those times and how to avoid it…

  • When the disagreements are strong, it is better to listen. Do not suppress it or start meditating. OBSERVE and LISTEN to the blabber and you will see it coming back.
  • Don’t try to talk somebody’s faith into IT if you haven’t personalised for IT during good times.
  • If you want IT to follow a scripture, make IT fall in love with it. Only then, Shastras will work like conscious suggestion bringing it back on the path.
  • Identify unhealthy patterns and work to overcome. Depending on the severity, I recommend not trying to overcome them overnight. Slowly but consciously build the desired behaviour and IT will be motivated when it sees small success.
  • Teach IT to be flexible. It is absurd if we make IT rigid and narrow. IT should change to evolve. Whenever IT says, my beliefs, my opinions, I am always right etc.Understand who is saying it, and while IT is saying it, observe ..
  • Lastly, if you feel stagnated then stop postponing and start rebuilding. Remember YOU are THAT and nothing can take that away. You are just learning to be YOU.

If we stop observing others and start observing our Mind then ultimately IT would take us to its source.

We are visiting Gangtok, Sikkim. The image is the breathtaking view on the way to the mystique Tsomgo Lake.

Living Rent-Free!

Last week, we visited¬†our friends who recently became parents. I don’t have to describe their state of mind, do I? They were super exhausted, sleep deprived and trying to adjust to the new member in their family.

As soon as we were settled, we got talking, they were talking off their exhaustion of having a baby and before we knew it, two hours had gone by. During that time, most of the conversation revolved around others but the baby. We then realized that the baby was never the problem, it was their expectation from the family at these times added to their fatigue. This visit has done me some good. I now know exactly how many people I have up there who are living rent free ;). In spite of being watchful, yet there are few up there and that needs attention.

Strong emotions good or bad are dangerous. Trust me, these fixed opposites will never allow us to see those gray areas and lead us to a delusional state thinking Рthat our happiness is from outward things. When the people we like or dislike contribute nothing to our happiness quotient then why bother carrying them in our heads.

So, which arch enemy is living rent free in your head?

Brilliant Mind & Eureka Moments

Upon watching the Mathew Brown’s movie, The Man Who Knew Infinity, I pondered on how important it is to have a clear mind for a creative¬†brain. By the way, it’s a biopic on Srinivasa Ramanujan and his friendship with British mathematician G.H. Hardy. A man of intuition with little to no formal education,¬†Ramanujan, was a phenomenal and celebrated mathematician much ahead of his time.

What interested me is his answer to the mathematician G.H. Hardy to how he derived at a new equation? He said it came to him in his dreams.

He failed to systematically prove his work. He was unable to provide any logical account and admitted that they were the thought of God and hence did not require any proof. That epiphany which caused me to think of how many such intuitive moments had come to my aid but could never confess openly the work of my unconscious thoughts. Each one of us everyday experiences these flash moments but how many of us are aware and could successfully apply those to our lives. No doubt, he was wired differently from the others during his time.

‘Intuition’, which made me think and am sure you would agree that some of our best decisions were not the result of our reasoning but that of a hunch. Though uncomfortable but still the truth ;). When our wisdom¬†and intellect fails, intuition is the light we follow, that gut-feeling which defies¬†all logic but works when executed. Does that mean we should reject all analytical reasoning to embrace that inner voice? Not necessarily, everything needs to be balanced. Can’t we integrate them with our other tools¬†available to make the best possible decision?

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Let us take a look at the history, shall we? Every grand discovery had an aha moment, brilliant ideas surfaced when it was least expected. ¬†If those eureka moments were to be true then why did we¬†stop at only idolising the individual but never ventured into their world, their mind. We celebrated the body which housed magnificent mind but couldn’t gather information on how they tuned into¬†the secrets of the universe.

It always had been the work of an attentive and inquisitive mind. Our next questions should have been in the direction of the source, the place where these ideas are born. The only reasoning might be that they were too ahead of their times.

I strongly¬†believe that any breakthrough to be made should already be there waiting to be discovered. The more connected we¬†are to the thought/idea the better we¬†stand a chance to discover it. Bhagavad Gita beautifully explains this phenomenon, it says a sudden appearance of a¬†thing does not mean it wasn’t there already. It was there you weren’t observing, now that you observed it appeared. Nothing here is ever created new, it is always discovered. [B.G. 2,28]

Avyaktadini bhutani vyakta-madhyani bharata
Avyakta-nidhanany eva tatra ka paridevana

Then, why only a few discover great things? Are we born different? Do we all not have the same qualitative brain make-up?

Ideas come to¬†minds that are lucid. How can anything reflect on a troubled mind? Even if it did, the chaotic mind wouldn’t see it. However, if our minds start believing and literally living in any idea then history records that the idea¬†had¬†turned from a mere thought to a real experience. Examples are many,¬†from Mahatma Gandhi to Adolf Hitler ūüôā

quote-all-knowledge-exists-in-the-mind-universe-of-light-which-is-god-that-all-mind-is-one-walter-russell-68-3-0306

Image:the web

Love Yourself

Whenever our environment gives fewer data, we let our subjective self-interpret it and respond to clear the ambivalence.

Some of us, when met with ambiguity, may turn to anger or sadness. For example, when you meet with uncertainty, and say you believe it is hugely important to please everybody around then the amount of stress that you would undergo is fairly proportional.

Unfortunately, if social support is the only thing we¬†are clinging to then we do not have enough choices to depend¬†on. And the bizarre thing is that we avoid social contact and turn¬†a loner¬†when stressed, don’t we?

Besides, we feel stressed when we are compelled to saying “YES” when we really want to say “NO”. This is something that we come across more often than not. Maybe I feel this had played a huge¬†role in not wanting to continue in an undivided family which was very popular in Indian subcontinent at one time. Thanks to stress, we now have the nuclear family, pun intended.

From experience, I know how hard it is to say NO to a friend or to a family member. It is next to impossible to saying NO to your superior or someone in authority. But we all know how the frustration gets build up and sometimes translates into indirect aggression.¬†Then why can’t we say ‘No’? Because reciprocity and guilt weigh us down.

The need to comply and to stay part of social groups kick in high cortisol levels. This is huge because this leads to prolonged stress. Yet, learning to say NO when appropriate is important to our well-being. In the long run, people will respect you for that.

Decline gracefully. Be kind to yourself and you will radiate the same. If judging others is incorrect, judging self is equally wrong.

Image: the web