Is Demanding the way for Corporate Existence or Exitus?

Children Demand Attention and Time

      Women Demand Protection and Security

Men Demand Respect and Authority

       Other Sex Demand Admission and Rights

Irrespective of what category we belong, we are demanding. Is that the right way to procure what we want?

If we look closely at these, we understand that our demands are different and similar at the same time. We are afraid of being taken for granted and when the fear creeps in then we move from requests to demands. When demands are not met, we conjure. Take a min and reflect on any of your relationships. It can be personal, professional or even with nature. It forms a loop. There were times when we ate what nature provided then we started to cultivate what we want and today we are demanding and destroying in the name of industrialisation. When nature does not succumb to our demands but starts to give what we haven’t asked for then we conjure. Guess this is a natural phenomenon.

If we look at this¬†from the¬†organization perspective, study suggests that many skilled labors exit for lack of attention or recognition than just pay. You might have heard the saying, ‚Äėpeople quit their managers, not their jobs‚Äô. Now from a manager‚Äôs perspective, it‚Äôs the other way round, the fear of being taken for granted forces him to demand and not request. As a bystander, we understand this but when we are involved in the game, we react and the loop forms. It is funny, isn‚Äôt it? We somewhere need to break the loop. We move from being Self-aware to being too conscious because of our poor troubled mind. Even when we want to respond sensibly, the mind forces us to react. Nothing seems to work then.Not even the externalizing technique which the psychologists suggest. We can‚Äôt complain. Can we? We are habituated to reacting than to responding.

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Indriyaanam hi Charatam Yanmano Vidiyathe

Tadasya Harati Pragjnaam Vayur Navam ivambasi

                                                                           Bhagavad Gita Chapter 2 verse 67

Bhagavad Gita warns us about the same. As the wind carries away a ship in the water, so does the unsteady mind associated with sense objects, destroys the power of discrimination and self-control.

Imagine the scenario below,

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Why does this happen? Because we constantly crave for attention and recognition. If somebody doesn’t recognise us, we question our own existence. Swami Vivekananda rightly said we are slaves to many. In this process, we FAIL TO LIVE

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This had to happen because we aren’t living our PRESENT. Why do you think surgeons fail to operate their kith n kin? They are surgeons and that is what they are good at. Why Psychiatrists‚Äô fail to not succumb to anxiety? They cure everybody but still fall prey to stress. We suggest everybody around but can‚Äôt follow our own suggestions. What to do? When it comes to us, our mind takes a ‚ÄėU‚Äô turn. Practice can only help put the mind back on track.

Bhagavad Gita teaches us to look at the impermanence of everything that we are clinging to. It can be anything. Look at that strong emotion ‚ÄėAnger‚Äô. How long does it stay? What damage does it do to the body during its stay? Is it staying forever? Yes, only till the time another emotion knocks the door. Even a minute before now has lost it’s¬†life. If we understand this concept, it will give us some room to think before reacting. Bhagavad Gita says anything that is unreal and impermanent has no existence. Real according to Advaitam means that which does not change/constant.¬†

Nasato Vidyate Bhavo nabhavo Vidyate Satah(Chapter 2, verse 16.) The nature of being is never known of the unreal. The real is never known not to exist.

We might always feel right when we look at a situation from our viewpoint. A healthy organisation or relationships are always a collective effort. A collaborative culture can only be fostered by a good leader. A good leader who doesn’t cling to his decision alone but also listens to his people. One who can transform his beliefs with time and works towards benefitting his employees. A leader with a clear mind and one who owns teams failures as much as their success. History has seen such leaders and they all had one thing in common. They were high on spiritual quotient. Understanding Gita will not only make us better individuals but can pave the way in becoming Great Leaders.

Frustration Ends where Knowledge Begins

Dhyayato vishayan pumsah sangah teshu upa jayate 
Sangat sanjayate kamah kamat krodhah abhijayate
Krodhad bhavati sammohah sammohat smrti vibhramah
Smrti-bhramsad buddhi naso buddhi nasat pranasyati
                                                                                    Bhagavad Gita, Chp 2, Sh 62, 63.
which means, Brooding on the objects of the senses, man develops an attachment to them; from attachment comes desire; from desire, anger sprouts forth. From anger proceeds delusion; from delusion, confused mind; from confused mind the ruin of the reason; due to the ruin of reason, he perishes.

We humans are constantly being challenged. How we deal with those challenges also shapes our personality. Each time the world forces itself upon us demanding, it is also challenging us to own the responsibility of our emotional reaction. One such challenge that we often face is to handle frustration. It is an emotion that occurs when one is blocked from reaching the desired goal. The block can be a physical or a mental one. Dealing with frustration has always been one of the worst nightmares for both teenagers and adults.

Though life teaches us to tolerate a little frustration without becoming too upset about it. Nevertheless, it keeps us proactively engaged with new goals and challenges. We all at one point or another had found ourselves face to face with frustration. 

I had been there many times but I still remember this incident when I couldn’t find a way to vent it¬†and all hell broke loose. Flustered and irritated, I couldn’t¬†notice the steam building up. And with every disapproval, it was expanding within me until I exploded under the pressure. It took me a lot of time and effort to bring peace and to rebuild the relationship that my anger almost damaged. I learnt my lesson the hard way that suppression can never help me get away from that emotion that I am running from.

I also realised how frustration and anger travel¬†hand in hand. It is like a chain reaction and we have to stop it before it gets triggered(the above shlok also warns us the same).Who’s to blame then? Who needs to unlearn habits that cause¬†such unpleasant episodes? A good analysis following¬†an emotional storm will lead us to the realisation that nobody other than our state of mind was guilty¬†of that painful experience. The reason¬†was never the situation/thing/goal/person. Once we discover this, we will learn to respond to such situations. Like we discussed before,¬†repression is never an option but we can practice healthy ways of dealing with it. It will be challenging at first, but overtime being mindful of that sliding point, we can learn to change the habitual reaction to a more positive discharge than a negative one.

Another observation is that we stay frustrated when we get to thinking that we are going nowhere. That happens when we start feeling powerless and what triggers that emotional state is when we only focus on the problem. I¬†mean, we should¬†look for ways to solve the problem in hand. By understanding the cause of frustration we can direct our energy to¬†sketch a goal to resolve it. I know it is not easy but it is not difficult either. Look at the damage we cause to ourselves and disappointments we bring to our dear ones. Why I say dear ones, because oftentimes, we indulge in displaced aggression. It is easy that way, isn’t it? ¬†When we can’t yell at the boss then we vent it at the spouse or someone close.

It is also unrealistic to think we can rid ourselves of this dangerous thing called frustration. It is not always dangerous, it motivates us to resolve things which are standing in between us and our goals. They only turn against us when they bring with them excessive emotional feelings of deep dissatisfaction and vanity. Have you noticed what Chronic frustration does to people? Their self-image deteriorates and goals that they chose would look impossible and unrealistic then. Some of them fall into a state of perpetual apathy.

Try it for yourself. Next time when you feel frustrated stuck in¬†traffic, ask yourself if¬†there’s something you¬†could do, like finding another route. If there is nothing you¬†could do, then ask yourself¬†is it even worth your¬†anger and time. You grow frustrated by over-thinking and over-analyzing anything that is not under your control.¬†When the block is external and if there‚Äôs nothing could be done, we just have to wait. Even that quality of ‘waiting’ can¬†teach us something, isn’t it?

And now it is our choice, whether to succumb to despair or take control of our life. If we¬†don‚Äôt manage our emotions, it will¬†start managing us and¬†then¬†life wouldn’t be a pleasant experience.