Persevere-And Don’t Hurry-A Guest post!

Hey!¬†This is Rajan¬†ūüôŹ. I am so glad to write this post for Sumi, our relationship¬†goes back long in time. This is literally my first ever post. I still remember her long list of suggestions when I started writing this post for her¬†blog, phew! ¬†ūüėȬ†Let me start by thanking her for giving me a stage to share my thoughts :-). Okay, now right into the post!

The below is a famous dialogue from a Rajnikanth movie and also one of my personal favourites. And it goes like this..

“Andavan Nallavangala Sodhipan Aana Kai Vida Maatan.Kettavangulaku Naraya Kudupaan Aana Kai Vitturvaan.”

Now, what does that¬†mean…It means “God will always test good people but will always stay by their side. He will shower a lot of favours to the bad but will never be by their side” A simple dialogue but conveys a lot. Nothing worth comes easy, hence struggle is a stepping stone towards achieving it.

Success can come sooner¬†for some and it might take a lifetime for others. Can we afford to categorise those who find success¬†after desperate attempts to be Achievers¬†and who made it in few attempts to be Lucky?¬†Or can we afford to give up easily on the pretext of not being lucky? Let us not compare and give up easily if we don’t succeed in few attempts. We conveniently forget that there always was¬†a hidden agenda called ‘Success’ behind every great triumph in history.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†‚Äú In Every TRIUMPH There’s a Lot of TRY.‚Ä̬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Frank Tyger

Some people will adopt unethical means by compromising their integrity to become successful and might even end up reaching the heights they have dreamt but all these are short-lived. Once they fall they will never be able to rise back again. We have many such live examples around where God gave them everything but was never with them.

On the other hand, there are FEW who constantly fail in every step but work their way up until they have tasted success. Step by Step and Sip by Sip they raise themselves to the top with a strong foundation of failures below them and learning of a lifetime. Here God tested them with failures but was with them each time and eventually guided them to the top. Why I said FEW because there is only a FEW of us who are ready to put everything to woo and court the lady of success.

But there are times when we do not get what we want in spite of all the hard work. What we want and What we¬†deserve might be¬†two different things. And God always believes in giving what you deserve. That’s not bad at all… You never know what you deserve might be much higher than what you want.¬†I believe we all have the potential to drive success but perseverance is a trait, not everybody can master. Our aim should be to move¬†into the¬†FEW¬†from the¬†MANY ūüôā

And I hope the points discussed in the post are more relatable.

Thank you reading my post¬†ūüėÉ

A note from Sumi : Thank you so much, Rajan, for taking the time to write this post for my Readers. I am glad the first guest post was from your end.

We keep discussing on how different we are to¬†each other…think, act and fare¬†differently¬†making us all so¬†unique and suddenly one day I thought why can’t I have guest posts on my blog. Another perspective to the same idea and we got talking and the rest I would like to grandly claim is history!¬†¬†

Oh and I hope you guys had fun reading! Take care you all!ūüėä

The Eclipse of Success

Last week, I visited my cousin and spent a couple of days with her. She has grown up to become more mature for her age and together we could strike some good conversations. On one such, she said it is true that we attract things what we desire from this universe citing some examples of the ones in the family who were drawn to like-minded partners. She was right about the attraction aspect but are we not attracting like-minded things and not desire-minded ones? Think about it.

Law of Attraction Is Built To Attract What You ARE & NOT What You DESIRE 

We are attracting what we are and not what we desire. So instead of spending our energy in just desiring for things(partner, career, attitude, happiness), we should be expending the same energy in shaping our desired personality.

Okay, now let’s understand what does like-minded mean?

  • Like-minded: of the same mind or habit of thought.

Then,

  • What is Habit?¬†¬†It is a usual way of behaving

And,

  • What is Behaviour? ¬†It is anything that an organism does involving action and response to stimulation

So, can we say the below

Untitled.png

 

Our Experiences & observations form our belief system which creates our Thought Process which determines our Feelings which coerces us to Act upon it and if we persist in acting the same way, it becomes a Habit, which builds our Personality and our personality shapes our Destiny.

Such is our system. Apply this in any context and this workflow will always stand true. Be that be organization, personal, political or social as we are always interacting with Humans.

There is a saying by Marc Benioff¬†“The number one thing companies don’t learn is how to let go of the past.” How can they let go when the past, present and future depends on their beliefs. Now when we talk about spending millions of dollars on personality development in organizations, do we ever question the effectiveness of such retreats? How can we change anyone’s¬†personality if we don’t change¬†his/her belief system? We have to attack the roots and anything superficial will never last longer. Not only do the leaders stick to their beliefs but they subtly transmit their belief system to their successors.Thereby shaping their beliefs as organizations. Don’t be OK with the status quo. The market isn’t static, so your organization shouldn’t be either. Beliefs need to be upgraded and your organization should reflect that. The same also should go on a personal level.

We have to attack the roots and anything superficial will never last longer. Not only do the leaders stick to their beliefs but they subtly transmit their belief system to their successors. Thereby shaping their beliefs as organisations. Don’t be OK with the status quo. The market isn’t static, so your organisation shouldn’t be either. Beliefs need to be upgraded and your organisation should reflect that. The same also should go on a personal level.

Although most of us desire success in all spheres of our lives, we also do not completely believe that success is possible. There is always a doubt about what would happen if we couldn’t? By doing this, are we not diverting our thoughts into shaping our failure?

You are the CREATOR of Your Own DESTINY

Bhagavad Gita says, you have the right to act but never to the fruits of your action. We can use this epistemology to shape not just our personalities but our destinies alike. So let the thoughts flow in the direction of our desire never doubting our ability to succeed. Likewise, if we are good, we will attract good things from this universe. Desiring is not enough to succeed, shaping the desire is equally important for success.

 

 

Let our Life Preach what our Lips can‚Äôt

On my train journey to Chennai, I happened to listen in to the conversations of two boys and their fathers. We shared the same compartment. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. I do not enjoy listening in to others conversation, but it was too loud and I couldn’t but be a witness to the drama that unfolded.

In both the parties, one seemed to be quieter than the other. One spoke, spoke and spoke, the other would reply only if he found sensible else nodded and smiled. Nonverbal communication can save our energy and face from many such conversations and people alike, don’t they? The father who wasn’t talking much, his boy was his replica. He was quiet and did not interrupt when the other person spoke. We think kids aren’t noticing but they are and they learn from us.

Interesting thing that I noticed is all the four were talking about what they have and where others stand. Drawing comparisons and critical at judging others. Kids were flaunting and bragging about the toys and looking for faults at what the other had. Men did the same but the discussion surrounded around their jobs and looking down at others who were either doing bad or better.

Walt Whitman once said ‚ÄúThis world is big enough for both the talkative and the un-talkative; for both the complainers and the non-complainers.‚ÄĚ He is right. Many of us fall under the category of complainers. Men or women, we all do the same. Judging others is an easy exercise and again how do we judge people, on our perceptions. We look down equally upon people who are doing well compared to us or vice versa. What makes us unhappy? Is somebody‚Äôs success bringing us unhappiness? Is our happiness dependent upon others success or failures? And, What are we preaching our kids when we exhibit such behavior?

Did your kid ever walk-in to you complaining about something that he didn’t have or how bad he felt when he lost to his friend? Do you remember what you said to your kid? Many of us would have asked our kids to take it easy and be grateful with what they had in life. Even go a step further, and point on to the underprivileged ones who can’t even afford one square meal. Oh, my dad has done that many a times when I was growing up.

I wonder what stops us from applying the same principle in our lives as adults. What we preach and expect our kids to apply in his life doesn’t seem to work for us. Why? Are our problems real than theirs? Are ours more important than theirs? Please think. As kids we felt our problems were as real as our parents. We felt unhappy and dejected when they gave a deaf ear to our problems. For some, it might have shaped their life differently from the happy kids they were.

There is a lot of research around people who have selflessly given themselves to society and to those who have brought the society down. Psychologists have identified root cause of both these to their upbringing. Deep rooted emotions without a vent, suppressed which turned them to criminals that society had to pay a big price for. The same for the ones who were altruists.

Bhagavad Gita in Chapter 16, shl 6 and 7 tells us that men (human beings) are of two types. One who are of Daivah gunam(divine) and others of Asura gunam(demonic). Gita describes those who are of Asura gunam as the ones who do not know what is to be done and what is not to be done. Neither cleanliness nor proper conduct nor Truth is said to be found in them. We have been given a choice to choose between these.

If I may say, we are the role models to our children while growing up. If they do not see us act upon our preachings. They will never inculcate it into their lives. We have to reflect the good things that we want our kids to learn in our lives first. Then we don’t have to even remind them, they will not only learn from us but also spread those good things to whoever they come across.

Fortunately we are in midst of a paradigm shift, parents are now paying more attention than ever. We should focus more in building at least a few from the below Daivah gunams. I mean, instead of ruminating over and over our past and future , that time can be spent in freeing our mind of those Asuric qualities. When you slowly free the mind of those negativity then it will be ready to imbibe those daivic ones(Bhagavad Gita Chapter 15, shl 1,2,3).

Daive Gunam.png

we can live a positive life only with a positive mind. And, let our kids learn from our positive outlook towards life. Truly, then our lives will speak louder than our words.

Be a Goal Getter than a Goal Setter

We have all tasted failure. In spite of having a brilliant goal in mind, there were times when I couldn’t bring it to life. Only upon reflection, understood I lacked some of the very important ingredients to the recipe called Success.

It is a natural instinct to desire success. To succeed we need to take care of the following…

What I lacked primarily is focused thinking. I was more identifying with the final outcome. Alas, Self-fulfilling prophecy would have worked beautifully only had I focused at the journey than the outcome alone.

We could harness all our mental energy towards a desired goal, if we could do focussed thinking. Good example is laser, being a weak source of energy can still drill a hole in a diamond when focused.

Set clear immediate goals to realize the big picture, whether they are weekly, monthly or daily. Plan to reach these within time allotted.

What stops us from achieving our goal is the thought that’ I know it all’. Thereby there would be no learning and we tend to become stagnant. Only an immature mind would make such statement. I feel there is so much to learn here that one life wouldn’t be enough.

A mature mind is always ready to listen. Isn’t there a saying that you learn more when you listen? Everything around, I believe can teach you something good or bad. We just need to be smart to pick the ones we need.

Be sure to spend time in the company of experts .We can end up getting some good insights in our research.

Experimenting always helps. Charles Kettering said’ All human developments, no matter what form it takes, must be outside the rules; otherwise we would never have anything new.’ So do not be afraid to tread the unusual path.

Success or failure both in business and life should be attributed to our Mental Attitudes than to our Mental Capacities. Since we are all blessed with the same mental abilities, we can reach great heights if we believe.

Hard work Hard work and Hard work. Take any success story; you will see huge sacrifices that have lead to their success. Shortcuts will only make us obsolete.

Last but not the least, timely meeting of the milestones set by us will help us see through the journey.

If you look at the workflow below, one leads to another towards your goal.

g2.png

Year on Year, I see my 1st year Grad students, all full of energy wanting to get A+ in their subjects. But with each passing semester the determination gets lost somewhere. Self-Determination Theory explains how to overcome this. It is about a healthy way to connecting to both our intrinsic and extrinsic motives towards effectively achieving our goals

Of course, failures do happen. There is nothing to be dejected about. If we haven’t failed we haven’t learnt. It’s good to reflect upon our past mistakes but should abstain from staying there. We might risk the goal itself if we tend to look into the past too much.

Most people often fret over the results, but how you handle it matter just as much. This is where positive thinking would do us good. Every action is bound to have some results. Don’t superimpose your happiness on that. Indentifying self with success or failure will only make you anxious. It’s okay to fail but that should make us more focused to reach that goal in mind.

If we reflect upon our scriptures, they also have the same thing to say.

g3.png

We really don’t want to pile up all those negative thoughts. We have enough evidences of go-getters around us. Hard work and perseverance have helped them reach their goals. So, lets stay positive and get what we want in life.