Someone who read my posts asked me a question, thought it would be interesting to blog it. I was asked if I had ever experienced a marred self-image and if meditation helped me recover?
So what is self-image? It is simply how I see my self.
Actually, we all have a clear sense of self, a sense of ‘I’ but when we are asked to pinpoint and describe ‘I’ then it gets difficult. Many times we do not know how to heal our selves as we are unsure what to work on. Think of it, when asked to better our selves, we work on our career or body image or relationships thinking this is where our self lies. In reality, they belong to us but can they be us?
Many ancient Hindu philosophers and scriptures claim that we are living a life of mistaken identity, a pseudo self which is transient and impermanent.
At times, Body = I Mind = I
They state the ‘I’ present during the dream, waking and deep sleep states is called ‘Atman’ which is distinct from the mind and body. And, until the above identifications with the inner & outer body stop, we cannot be at peace. So, their advice is to know our real self and avoid any emotional scars which can damage our self-image.
I had my own encounters with emotions, felt helpless, the more I talked about it to others, those impressions seemed to get stronger. If I wasn’t seeking help outside then the thoughts that I wished to avoid kept coming back with vengeance. I felt my inside was that of a battlefield and I turned hostile.
That is when I started paying attention to my thoughts, till then I barely knew what crossed my mind. My mind was troubled by its own thoughts just as the silkworm bound by its own thread. I started observing my thoughts, the more my mind entertained those negative thoughts the more they surfaced. When sublimated, they took another form, but still existed.
Say someone knocks at your door and you do not respond to it then what happens? Whoever it is, have to go back after trying to get your attention, isn’t it? If we do not give the thought a thought, it has to go back. But it will return and knock again many a time, simply stop giving it any more power. Eventually, it will die down. Trust me, any such experiences in life will only leave you empowered with a better understanding of the mind.
Meditation may not be possible for someone with a low esteem. We need to fix that first. Learn to forgive you. To err is human, so learn from the experience and move on. Try giving; start taking responsibility your emotional needs and that will breed confidence.
Contemplating on any object is meditation but if you wish to understand and meditate upon the SELF then you have to approach a teacher. Spiritual books can gain a lifetime of knowledge but you may still miss the deeper meaning. He/she will help you put the principles into practice. For example, ‘Live in the present moment’, isn’t as simple as it may sound and nothing will change overnight. Be patient and practice until it gets hard-wired.
Though you are already That TRUTH/God(whatever you wish to call), ignorance will stop you from being that. So, you should consciously trash your old knowledge and instill new ones and allow them to seep in. This sure is an investment of your time and energy but you deserve to know who you really are 🙂